Wednesday, 27 June 2007

Loss of Human Contact

Hi....I am frustrated and also intreged (spelling?) this week! I have just joined FaceBook - much to my frustration! However, I am also very excited to see some long lost friends still accepting me as one of their friends, even after many years of not actually seeing them face to face. FaceBook is addictive and we have had to put in some home ground rules (well we will do!) and a great way to keep in touch - with pictures too !

BUT I am afraid this is the beginning of the end of human contact. Will we - or the next generations to come - loose the art of face to face conversation and interaction?

It is very easy to type away your feelings etc etc....but quite another thing to actually talk to someone about them.

I had the privilege of meeting with someone for 2 hours this afternoon for a catch-up chat (the biggest and bestest bonus of my job!) and it just prompted me to blog these thoughts. Interacting in conversation, body language, laughter, tears etc etc....personal sharing one to one....must not be allowed to be replaced by our internet relationships!

FaceBook and Blogging are fantastic means of communication but I must be careful never to use these internet "conversations" as a substitute to either a phone call or a face to face chat.

Thursday, 21 June 2007

Sorry, Love, Hate and Want

I am struggling with the word Sorry ! We teach our children to say sorry when they do something wrong - to own up and apologise etc etc....but then comes "sorry" said after every conversation involving asking the children to do anything - even take their dishes out to the dishwasher ! "Sorry" is not what I want to hear then - it is action I want to see......sorry should be kept for occasions of remorse and learning - shouldn't it? Or kept for occasions when we are sorry 'about' something that perhaps touches us on the news or about our friends etc.

The word LOVE is also a struggle. Why is the English language so restrictive? I love chocolate and cosy nights in, I love my family, but when I say the words "I Love You" when I drop the children off to school after they have really upset me - LOVE means so much more than it sounds when it comes out of the mouth.

HATE such a strong word. Yet I have realised I use it so often....but in terms like, I hate Gallows Corner...will avoid it at every cost - as Dawn well knows! I hate listening to Charlie on Big Brother - she is driving me mad! I hear myself saying "hate" quite a lot recently and I 'hate' myself for it ! It is such a harsh word to form as you say it and even to hear it spoken...such a strong harsh word. But when I use it I don't really hate at all.....that sentiment is just not within me - I don't hate a thing really......what other word should I use I wonder ?

"I want never gets".....I was brought up with this I can't even use that phrase to express what I do really want. I end up using words like "I should" "I ought" "I better" "they expect"....I was asked by a professional Life Coach two weeks ago "What do you want ? Use the phrase I want to...." I couldn't bring myself to even utter those words! Something else for me to work on then!

Perhaps I should start speaking in Swahilli again - perhaps would express myself better :-)

Sunday, 17 June 2007

Liberated !

I had a very liberating experience yesterday...I had my bra size measured ! I discovered that I have been wearing the wrong size for the last three years (shame, that is the last time I got measured!) NO wonder I have not been feeling that comfortable - but fancy sticking with it for three years (obviously have bought new ones in that time - didn't want you to think I have kept same ones for three years). So obviously it was not that bad, but I just knew something was wrong...I put it down to additional weight and gravity :-)

Anyway after an hour of trial and error and being observed by a complete stranger who kept pulling the straps etc etc, I finally came away with my right size and a couple additions to my wardrobe.....dont want to use the B word too often as I know Graeme Howell in particular will get embarrased as he reads this ! it feasible that we can be in a ministry "wrong fit" ? I wonder how many of us have felt this or feel it right now - that we are just not quite in the right "ministry fit" ? Please don't take this as an indication that I am feeling in a "wrong fit" at Romford - I am NOT feeling that, far from it .....but the hour in M&S "B" fitting service has made me wonder if it is possible to carry on in a particular ministry, but not quite feeling as Liberated and "close fitted" as we should?

Does God provide a "Fitting Service" ? How willing are we to throw away the wrong fit and pick up the new? How willing are we to allow God to "pull our straps".