The Truth about Words

I try not to allow myself to do this....but there are times when I stew over conversations I have had and wish I had said things differently....there is one particular conversation that has haunted me for 2 years now ! The main reason being is that the conversation ended in a bad way which will have left the group involved with a wrong impression of who I am or even how I feel - my own fault and the chances are that particular group (who I only see every2/3 years) will not have given it another thought since that day. ANYWAY...that is not the reason for my blogging today - the following is, but guess the above sets the context for why I felt I needed to blog:-

Whilst doing some housework last night, I found the following poem written by one of my children (I have permission to use it, by the way) :-

Truth

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words can also hurt me.
Stones and sticks break only skin,
while words are ghosts that haunt me.

Slant and curved the word-swords fall,
to pierce and stick inside me.
Bats and bricks may ache through bones,
but words can mortify me.

Pain from words has left its scar,
on mind and heart that's tender.
Cuts and bruises now have healed;
it's words that I remember.

WOW ! We have since discussed the circumstances that surrounded the writing of this poem and all is well. But what truth is contained in this very mature poem.

There are occasions when I over hear conversations about people and sometimes to people, that really are like a word-sword. I need the courage to challenge those conversations more.

Everyone at Church is equally important, whether we "like" them or not. Sometimes no words is as painful as harsh words....being ignored leaves its scar too.

Question for the day:- Do Actions really speak louder than words?
I think they do....BUT in the light of these feelings put down in a poem - I wonder !

Sorry this has turned into a mega-blog...thanks for taking the time to read and possibly comment.

My final prayer for myself today is "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight O Lord".

Route Confirmation Part 2 ha ha ha ha ha !

I have just read my blog "Route Confirmation" which I posted on 9th July and just burst out laughing !!! LoL..... :-) turn up at 3pm and follow directions for a stress free road trip - MY FOOT

Actually, as far as the information given to us is concerned and a very good Sat Nav (well almost very good) it was as easy as that BUT the lessons we have learned along the way have been invaluable. The main one being - total reliance on God.

No doubt Richard will blog along these lines at some point - when we catch up with emails etc ! But there have been a series of "unfortunate events" over the past 3 weeks that have taught us to completely trust in God to get us out of sticky situations ! Let me breifly outline a few for you:-

1. Hours before we are due to leave home - our clutch died on the very car we had registered to take with us on our 2,000mile round Europe trip !

2. On arriving in the town of our camp site in Lake Garda, we missed a turn. Sat Nav then redirected us to "Turn Right".....down an ever narrowing road, where the walls of the houses touched both wing mirrors (not in our own car either !), we pulled them in and I held my hand against my side to help Richard negotiate very Very VERY slowly past very uneaven stone walls (don't worry about my hands getting scrapped!). As we turned a very tight bend to the left we came to a dead end - Nowhere to turn the car around. Heart, Mouth, joined together, tears began to flow....panic set in in a variety of ways for each one of us...kids asking how we getting out of this - me shouting back - "we don't know, just stay calm for Daddy please !!!". Richard gets out of the car and walks back up the road - surveying the twists and turns ready to reverse back to a point where he could turn the car around inch by inch....the only way out was back up in reverse...so I walked behind the car directing Richard and all the while we are both praying our little socks off that God would somehow get us out of here - we were very tired, stressed and life was completely out of our control ! Just then a lady opened a window and smiling at us said something in Italian and pointed towards two very large doors that were opening by themselves....it was the opening to her beautiful courtyard which she was inviting us to reverse into in order to turn around and negotiate going back up this horrific road forwards.....God is closer than you think :-)

3. Arriving on site, we are told to drive to the very top of the hill for Canvas Holiday reception...we both looked up and up, saw very narrow road winding up and up - the smell from the clutch of the car that didn't belong to us was not pleasant - so we went. Half way up we decided to pull over (there was a space to do so) as the clutch really didn't smell nice. Richard decided to walk up to find reception - I was on the brink of tears once again, when a lovely English couple arrived and spent time listening to our woes and then reassuring us about the area and camp site etc (incidentally they live round the corner from Richard's family in Croydon). When Richard returned smiling - all was going to be well. We had pulled up outside our Tent and there was room to leave the car just next to us - we didn't have to take the car any further up hill ! Our neighbours turn out to be a lovely single parent family who used to live near Romford - we got on so well. She too listened as we downloaded our trauma of the journey. God is closer.....

4. On 7th August I learned that it is more blessed to give away....A new family arrived in the toilets without any toilet paper ! I gave away less than half a roll - not sure what else we had (10pm at night) but thought we could manage. In the morning I found some tissues but on my way back from the toilets - outside our tent was a FULL toilet roll ! God is closer.....

5. One of the rear tyres got a slow puncher ! Our Italian was not going to stretch that well to garage speak ! However, Richard pumped the tyre up and we took the car out in order to visit another town on the Lake and as we went we prayed....Lord point us to a tyre garage that speaks English and will understand what help we need. You guessed it, Just there beside the road was an Italian Kwick Fit type place - one man band - but this one man spoke English and within 40mins we were done and dusted and back on the road and only 20Euros lighter. God is closer....

There are a number of little stories I could tell - situations that have stretched us beyond our comfort zone and that have taught us that God is in control. Read Richard's blog for his take on it all.

This has been the most exciting, terrifying and restful holiday we have had as a family ever.... think the kids have got the message too that God is certainly closer than we think or remember.

Thanks for taking the time to read- hope I have not bored you too much :-)

Marrow Confusion !

I have been donated a rather large Marrow......what does one do with it ? :-)

Route Confirmation

We received all the information we need for our Europe Trip today. Maps outlining our three day journey down to Lake Garda. Map reference points for each night stop over etc etc....it is all in the bag (well wallet thing !) all we have to do is follow directions closely, arrive after 3pm at each stop over and we will reach our destination, unstressed and safely !

Oh that life in general could be that mapped out and stress free :-)

Loss of Human Contact

Hi....I am frustrated and also intreged (spelling?) this week! I have just joined FaceBook - much to my frustration! However, I am also very excited to see some long lost friends still accepting me as one of their friends, even after many years of not actually seeing them face to face. FaceBook is addictive and we have had to put in some home ground rules (well we will do!) and a great way to keep in touch - with pictures too !

BUT I am afraid this is the beginning of the end of human contact. Will we - or the next generations to come - loose the art of face to face conversation and interaction?

It is very easy to type away your feelings etc etc....but quite another thing to actually talk to someone about them.

I had the privilege of meeting with someone for 2 hours this afternoon for a catch-up chat (the biggest and bestest bonus of my job!) and it just prompted me to blog these thoughts. Interacting in conversation, body language, laughter, tears etc etc....personal sharing one to one....must not be allowed to be replaced by our internet relationships!

FaceBook and Blogging are fantastic means of communication but I must be careful never to use these internet "conversations" as a substitute to either a phone call or a face to face chat.

Sorry, Love, Hate and Want

I am struggling with the word Sorry ! We teach our children to say sorry when they do something wrong - to own up and apologise etc etc....but then comes "sorry" said after every conversation involving asking the children to do anything - even take their dishes out to the dishwasher ! "Sorry" is not what I want to hear then - it is action I want to see......sorry should be kept for occasions of remorse and learning - shouldn't it? Or kept for occasions when we are sorry 'about' something that perhaps touches us on the news or about our friends etc.

The word LOVE is also a struggle. Why is the English language so restrictive? I love chocolate and cosy nights in, I love my family, but when I say the words "I Love You" when I drop the children off to school after they have really upset me - LOVE means so much more than it sounds when it comes out of the mouth.

HATE such a strong word. Yet I have realised I use it so often....but in terms like, I hate Gallows Corner...will avoid it at every cost - as Dawn well knows! I hate listening to Charlie on Big Brother - she is driving me mad! I hear myself saying "hate" quite a lot recently and I 'hate' myself for it ! It is such a harsh word to form as you say it and even to hear it spoken...such a strong harsh word. But when I use it I don't really hate at all.....that sentiment is just not within me - I don't hate a thing really......what other word should I use I wonder ?

"I want never gets".....I was brought up with this phrase....now I can't even use that phrase to express what I do really want. I end up using words like "I should" "I ought" "I better" "they expect"....I was asked by a professional Life Coach two weeks ago "What do you want ? Use the phrase I want to...." I couldn't bring myself to even utter those words! Something else for me to work on then!

Perhaps I should start speaking in Swahilli again - perhaps would express myself better :-)

Liberated !

I had a very liberating experience yesterday...I had my bra size measured ! I discovered that I have been wearing the wrong size for the last three years (shame, that is the last time I got measured!) NO wonder I have not been feeling that comfortable - but fancy sticking with it for three years (obviously have bought new ones in that time - didn't want you to think I have kept same ones for three years). So obviously it was not that bad, but I just knew something was wrong...I put it down to additional weight and gravity :-)

Anyway after an hour of trial and error and being observed by a complete stranger who kept pulling the straps etc etc, I finally came away with my right size and a couple additions to my wardrobe.....dont want to use the B word too often as I know Graeme Howell in particular will get embarrased as he reads this !

Now...is it feasible that we can be in a ministry "wrong fit" ? I wonder how many of us have felt this or feel it right now - that we are just not quite in the right "ministry fit" ? Please don't take this as an indication that I am feeling in a "wrong fit" at Romford - I am NOT feeling that, far from it .....but the hour in M&S "B" fitting service has made me wonder if it is possible to carry on in a particular ministry, but not quite feeling as Liberated and "close fitted" as we should?

Does God provide a "Fitting Service" ? How willing are we to throw away the wrong fit and pick up the new? How willing are we to allow God to "pull our straps".