Sunday, 22 April 2007
Mum's the word and loneliness
Two things on my mind today....Firstly, couple times recently I have heard children call their parent by their first name and not "Mum". I think this is really sad. There are only two people in the world who have the right to call me "Mum" - and that is really special to me. I just felt when I heard their first names being used by their child that a line was being crossed and a devaluing of "Mum" was taking place.....probably being silly - but just the way I feel about it. I know a 59 year old who sometimes refers to her Mum as "Mummy"...now that may be a little bit odd but part of me loves that too - because "Mummy" is even more special because for me it is even more intimate. Secondly, I have been involved in a few conversations today about loneliness and how even within a Church fellowship such as ours, some are not totally embraced.....touched a few raw nerves and realised that maybe I understand more than they actually will ever know - made me realise too how "closed" some hanging about groups are after the meeting....how do we put this right? BUT I also know that each one of us (including myself) needs to make however we want the fellowship to be, happen - we have to make it happen for ourselves too.
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3 comments:
Hmm, I was thinking about this myself on Sunday morning, (the loneliness thing!) I think it is such a tricky issue, because like-minded poeople will inevitably gravitate towards one-another, and then conversations will inevitably end up being related to those aspects in which they are similar. It a difficult issue - especially where you get people who don't automatically fit into any one such 'group'.
I also find it really interesting that the people that could be termed as 'on the fringes' of our congregation - i.e. those whose attendance is sporadic and/or are newer to the congregation, and/or are not really involved in any kind of service at the corps, are sometimes (not always) the ones that do seem to be part of these 'groups', whereas there are those who are very integrated in the corps, yet can often feel that sense of loneliness very acutely. This is difficult for them because people would not necessarily realise that any extra effort is needed becasue they 'appear' to be very involved and comfortable.
Also, I guess everybody has a responsibility to try to involve themselves as well.
Obviously this is a massive generalisation, but just something I happened to notice on Sunday morning.
I think this need for to make it a personal response is a big one - how many people say they don't feel 'involved' actually make the effort. I haven't been here that long. I would say I feel involved most of the time. But I would also have to say that there has been a lot of 'pushing myself in' during those year 3 1/2 years....and that is hard.
However, that's not to say that it is always down to the individual. We all have a responsibility to others too.
I do agree with Kirsty that like-minded people will gravitate towards each other. It is unrealistic to think that, within the size of a corps like Romford, ALL people can be friends on the same level.
The only answer I have is to be part of FOJ club, then this 'after the meeting' issue becomes 'what issue?'
Where I work everyone calls me 'Bruv'...imagine how confusing that is for me?
Lonliness - what a common issue. How is it possible to strike the balance of making someone feel welcome and included within the Chruch(without it being just a shallow gesture that we feel we should do - i guess those who have that gift of hospitality can show us a thing or two here) whilst still allowing yourself to have a more intimate friendship group (which I also think is natural and quite important)?
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