Thursday, 10 April 2008

Date Frustration

We have just got back from a few days away in Bedford with my parents. It is always nice to be in Bedford - it has always held a special "default" setting for my family over the years. Anyway, the reason for blogging today is that as I reflect back on the days away I have a disappointment and a dilema (spelling?!) - one of the evenings Richard and I went out on a "date" lovely walk down by the river to a coffee lounge for a couple of hours on our own. This was lovely however I am sad because we just couldn't help but end up talking about our work, the corps, vision, officership, Army .... I am worried that having been work parterns for 15 years now, our lives are so entwined with "Army work" that the "we" we created in 1986 when we got married is being overtaken.

Not sure expressed all this very well - but any tips from those who perhaps are reading this and understand what I am trying to say would be gratefully received!

Also cross because a day that has been organised in Norwich for couples in ministry called "Life in the Fishbowl" looks really fab and potentially important for us to help work this type of thing out, is just not feasible for us!

God is good though and does work all things out for His purposes - He is faithful !


Dawn said...

Totally unqualified in any sense to comment on your frustration, but I wonder if the "we" you created in 1986 is exactly what has enabled you to do what you do?

Liz said...

It IS a tough one. I think the geocaching might help - you know, doing something 'else' together. Me and K went away and we were both a bit poorly to be honest, but it felt odd without the kids and I was concerned that our lives revolve so much around them that we have forgotten how to be 'us'. I agree with Dawn though X

Ann said...

Maybe you're right about the 1986 "We".. having said that we are both very different now from then - amazing we are still together :-) Just glad we love each other as much despite the changes - or maybe it is because of the changes mmm sorry to be a bit mushy. Thanks for bothering to comment.

Jon said...

Ann, Im glad you enjoyed your "Default" setting holiday....that sounds quite a nice way to explain it really,
as regards your date with young richard, you would have to imagine your self covered in post-it notes(just like in "Bruce almighty") These post-it notes you have collected every day since you got married, they have written on them every single experience that You have had, and you are who you are because of them... peel them all away and you may become a "Default" setting of Yourself, does this make sence?
Libbie's not been very well these last few days, back and forth to the doc's and tonight the hospital.
I wish sometimes i could peel all my post-it notes off, because i don't like the pain of illness, it really is horrible. But were parents and we carry on regardless. Just rambling really,hope your ok.

Jenny said...

After almost 28 years together I suppose Denis & I should know each other well...and we do! but there are still times when we can surprise each other. We have really enjoyed time recently when we have been able to be alone together...different times of life bring different angles to our relationship. It's important to go out on a date occasionally and justenjoy each others company.

....Anything we can do to help to make the Norwich day possible?

Ann said...

Thanks Jon and Jenny for your comments. Both really helpful - postitnote idea is great Jon and quite right ! Sorry Libbie not so well. Hope she is much better today.
The day in Norwich is difficult because it is such an early start and late finish and does not fit in with the school run ... we will just keep an eye open for the course to be run nearer to home. Thanks for offer though. Funny doing all this conversation in a very public way :-)

Liz said...

Check out this link from the Diary of An Angry Youth Worker, obviously from a youth workers perspective,but focussing on ministry some of the 'solutions' might be a starting point ?

Liz said...

PS - Mike Yaconelli wrote it

Hope the link is readable this time :)

Liz said...

Oh good - it is.

Right I'm off now - no more postings from me on your blog today!

tea4two-two4tea said...

get yourself a police pup!! now we bore ourselves silly and everyone else by talking about him and his antics. Now did I tell you what he did the other day........!!!